growing up is a choice

there comes a time when one realizes that she has evolved. and i'm no longer this cute little girl despite what others would say about my height. ^.^ i've evolved into a tiny beautiful lady (ayaw na palag please). what this entry contains is something what a debutante would say but knowing that i'm a late bloomer, it's about time that i say something like this.

i've been thought of as a twelve or thirteen year old by both types of people; the ones who know me well and by those who hardly know me. it's because of the height they say. but as they expound on it, they reveal other facts about me. with my tiny voice, expressions, and actions, it's not difficult to mistake me for a very young girl who's just clueless about the world. this influences how they treat me and as always, they call me the baby.

but for almost a year now, i surrounded myself with people who have just really grown up and have taught me a thing or two about growing up. sure, they're men and unlike the other men in my life, i get the feeling that they actually want me to grow up and not be the 'annoying' baby they love to make fun of.

growing up is a choice and i've began to grow up with these guys. they made me see that i should really leave behind the cuteness and just embrace the beauty of being a twenty year old. nyahaha. in many ways, i owe you for many things and you should know that i'm thankful.

i'm turning the page now, you'll begin to see a new me. a grown-up chin. hehehe

it's been a year, i hardly noticed.

today, i want to come up with an entry that would talk about the difference between last year me and this year me. but seeing that my vanity has not struck me since i got my hair cut, i thought about making a collage of the pictures i had that took place after those big bad events in my life. if you'll click the image above (for enlargement), you will see that i am now very happy.

it's true that some things just don't last forever. boys and even some people you would call your friends. the first one was a mistake i didn't think i'd commit. percy said i was pressured to have done such a thing. hehe...then, i didn't think i was. now, i think it is all about that. the second one, i just didn't think i'd be let go off because the girlfriend said so. i didn't think that it would be so easy for him to do after building the friendship. unlike mr. bluedig, i got defended from his jealous girlfriend. =)

i know i'm close to the boys but it's not because i flirt with them. i just find it easy to be with them because i was a soccer player in high school and there weren't many girls in the team. the boys would treat us like we're one of them and the girls, including myself never really cared about make-up or having the latest trend in our clothes. plus, i'm the youngest girl in my family. and with the number of uncles and kuyas i have, no one should really be surprised. hehe, i'm surrounded with men in school and at home.
and these guys i have are the reason why i'm single. yes, i'd blame it on all of them. haha... it's because when a brave soul comes along, they would crush his spirit. to name a few, there's sylvester the cat and romeo. ^.^ there have been some who have passed their standards but later backed out because they couldn't handle all of them.
but now, i can't help but be glad for having them. you keep the jerks away. =) and you're responsible for who i am now; single and happy. and i know that you don't want me to remain single forever...you're just helping me find the right one and keeping me secured and happy whilst he tries to find me. haha...

as for my gal pals who consistenly tell me that i should learn how to put blush-on and put eye shadow even though it's just a normal school day, i appreciate you all too. hehe... because face it, guys can't really stick around for chismis. they want to tell you things but they find it hard to listen (haha, joke lang. pero 60/40 totoo!) hehe... and it's fun to go shopping with all of you. guys find it hard to allot time for it. plus, i need you when i'm dishing out the dirt on some girl who messes with me and mr. bluedig. haha. but seriously, i learn a lot from you girls. not just about make up and fashion but on relationships which i will have! hehe... you're the ones who would let me cry and just let me cry no matter what my reasons are. you'd laugh with me no matter how silly i'd get. and you're happy for me when you know that there's really something to be happy about.

i'm also thankful for my family who has kept their arms open for me, each time i mess up. sweet caroline will always be our song and 'hurting will always run off my shoulders each time i'm holding you."
it's really all because of you that i hardly noticed what today is. i almost forgot but when i remembered, i laughed at myself instead of being sad about it. i laughed and talked with you a lot today, yesterday, last week, last month, and since the day it all happened. tears? i forgot how they come because i always have a smile on now. =) it's been a year, i hardly noticed...thank you...and thank you Lord. =)

taking the zipline with champ of hale

it's obvious that this whole event was a memorable one. some even say that i can't get over the fact that we had champ with us during our island hopping and that i was seen on tv with a bunch of my other classmates. haha... the zipline experience was just really wonderful. i forgot about the weight i was carrying and just really found the moment to celebrate after getting through the semester without failing a subject.

i'm still a challenger at the moment since i'm still going through the second semester of the schoolyear but when i graduate in march, which i should...i would be a survivor from all the tough work given to us by our mind daunting professors. =)

what happened in school today

i must admit, i have been really excited for the second semester to start. i made all sorts of preparations for my last first day in school. it happened today and it was memorable, to my delight. i spent it with my friends; bam, jhong, fabz, kulot, and ryan. i also mingled a bit with arjen, rhea, kristil, ka-ye, and elvira. even aris enojo got a portion of my time, unexpectedly.

i love how the day went. however, there were just two things that didn't really make me smile.

first of all, my philo 106 teacher last sem who gave me such a hard time is again my teacher for this semester in the next philosophy subject. he remembers me of course and made me the beadle for the class. he remembered the others and congratulated us in a mocking sort of way for passing his previous subject. ulk!

second on the list is how i forgot...well, neglected to take care of the matter during the break. letting that happen crushed me a little today even though i hardly cared about it when we were all away with each other.
i spent little time with my classmates today. it must have been because it's the first day and we'd only see each other in class. there were long gaps between my classes because the teachers didn't utilize the entire period for introductions. i had fun with them a little before philo class started. lost them after that. but before strategic management began, i was hanging out with them in the middle lounge of the fourth floor of the finster buliding. while we were all together, one person said something to me that triggered a few laughs. i know i took it well coz it's true but hearing it from him made me want to crawl under a rock. ^.^

i remember clearly how i reacted towards what he said. i smiled and nodded. no words said. embarrassed.

what was said? and who said it?

"no offense ha, but you got fat." -andy

he came up with reasons for it and i just had an embarrassed smile on my face. and i nodded to everything that he said. while a few others snickered and made some comments towards what andy said. when he was done, he pinched my cheek.

-shrugs-

well, that's the thing about him. he's cruelly honest but he knows how not to make me feel bad about the things that he said.

i don't feel bad because he said that. i felt embarrassed for a while but it was because i really didn't work out during the break. i know i drank a lot of coca-cola and ate here and there with short gaps between each meal or snack that i took. maybe he did want to embarrass me a little because knowing how our relationship is, i shouldn't be a stranger to it and the same goes for him. haha...

now, thinking about it makes me want to laugh out loud. but there's no one with me right now and i'm scared to think of myself as a crazy girl. hehe... i just know that andy meant well with what he said. hehe... he's a good friend and i'm glad i met him. =)